Saturday, August 1, 2009

time to get real

[some apostle figurine i took at a garage sale.]

it is time to set aside any bitterness, hate, selfishness, greed, and quarrels in the church and it is time to focus on the reason we go to church the reason that we are saved the reason we will live eternally in Heaven and that is the Almighty Everlasting God who was, and is, and is to come!

if we dare think that people who go to church are perfect and nothing bad ever happens in the church, then we should be ashamed of ourselves because those who actually think that the church is perfect is blinded to see that we have made the church all about us. its all about what sunday school class we are in, its about caring what other people think if we really worship the Holy God, its about pretending we are okay when on the inside we are broken and needed Christ to fill the void but too stubborn to open up.

enough is enough.

its time for the people of the church who have been saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ to start talking the talk and walking the walk. its time to get real.

as you read over the lyrics meditate on them...i am not going to tell you what i think you should get out of it, i just pray that God will speak to you through these lyrics.

One Faith by Robbie Seay Band

He is the good shepherd,
Laid down his life for his sheep;
So out of many nations
He's gathered one fold in one faith;
And he has built his church
On the rock foundation of faith,
On apostles and prophets
Who shepherd his people in his place.

There is one faith,
One hope,
And one baptism,
One God and Father of all;
There is one church,
One body,
One life in the spirit
Now given so freely to all.

He came to Simon Peter
And to all of the Twelve,
The keys of the kingdom
So darkness would never prevail.
But some of the shepherds,
Have pastured themselves on their sheep
So He has come out against them;
And scattered His people of faith.

But there still is
one faith,
One hope,
And one baptism,
One God and Father of all;
There is one church,
One body,
One life in the spirit
Now given so freely to all.

In good pastures
He will shepherd his people,
On the mountain tops
He is reshaped;
He will lead the
Forever afflicted
To the prisoners
He brings relief

There is one faith,
One hope,
And one baptism,
One God and Father of all;
There is one church,
One body,
One life in the spirit
Now given so freely to all.

But He'll not forsake His people,
He'll claim His sheep for His own.
He'll send out His word to the nations,
Regather His people back home
For He is the good shepherd,
Laid down His life for His sheep;
So out of many nations
He's gathered one fold in one faith,
There is one faith,
One hope,
And one baptism,
One God and Father of all;
There is one church,
One body,
One life in the spirit
Now given so freely,
Given so freely,
To all.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

in need of prayer.

this photo was taken over a year ago when i first met my little siblings...(this is of me and my two little brothers from my birth parents.)

nick (the one on the left) was 11 and josh (one on the right) was 12.

my two little brothers and their step dad were killed in a car wreck this past saturday.

my birth family and i are hurt and in pain from this loss.

all i ask of you is to pray.

please please pray.

if you wanna know more of the details feel free to shoot me an e-mail at

thank you...


Sunday, February 8, 2009


here are some songs about homelessness and poverty...i want you to take a good look at the singers/bands that are bringing out the truth about our society and how we view the impoverished.

toby keith-santa im right here

tokio hotel-forgotten children

phil collins-another day in paradise

beastie boys-johnny ryall

candlebox-he calls home

spearhead-hole in the bucket

paul simon-homeless

janis ian-the mission

arrested development-mr wendal

elton john-on the dark street

bob marley-no women no cry

dave matthew band-seek up

tracy chapman-talking about a revolution

stevie wonder-village ghetto land

warren barfield-my heart goes out

ludacris-runaway love

(most of the songs came from

i would like you to look up some of the songs and listen to them.

but thats not the point of this blog post.

with a few exceptions...almost all of the songs are sung by non christian bands...even some are not christians.

how sad is that?

people who do not profess that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Savior are getting the point across about poverty.

take bono for example he is getting out there and taking a stand about AIDS in africa.

and what are the christians doing?


except for the missionaries.

but we are ALL called to be missionaries!

why are we as christians sitting on our butts and feeling bad for the poor and wanting to do something but never get up and do anything?

we are LAZY!

what if we actually stood up for the homeless?

what if we actually humanized the homeless instead of treating them like a stray dog with rabies?

what if we actually took TIME to talk with them and not just throw money at them?

what if we got their name and prayed for them by their names?

what if we loved them?

maybe just maybe we could show them that there is hope from the one who made them Jesus Christ.

what will you do?

will you take a stand for the impoverished?

or will you sit back on your recliner and watch the impoverished become less and less on the humanity ladder?

matthew 25:31-40 (NIV)

The Sheep and the Goats

31"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.

34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'

37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'

40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

think about it.

then do something.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

is there a light at the end of this tunnel?

[taken this past week.]

january 4, 2009
7:37 pm

dear diary,

today it hit me like a ton of bricks.


all my life i have been fat. i look in the mirror and see a person i dont even know anymore. i used to be in denial about my weight saying

"inner beauty is what counts the most!"

then comparing myself to other around me saying

"at least i am not as fat as that person."

i have been teased by other about my weight all my life. but this time the tormenting is not from others...its from myself. i am tired of who i have become on the outside. so i do other things to cover it up like coloring and cutting my hair in a cool way, getting my nose pierced, ect...i use my voice to cover up how i feel on the inside. i get so busy that i dont notice how hideous i look on the outside. i use my kindness to kill any false first impressions that one may have of me just by my looks. i hide away when i know that reality is breaking through my false mirror i put up. i keep drowning out reality with art, music, just anything other than the truth. motivation is what i lack. i have never really exercised. my fear of what people think of me is too overwhelming that i become someone that i am not. just to ignore the pain i face everyday by looking in the mirror. i put tons of makeup on to distract from my body. i am so uncomfortable in my skin that as a child i would pray at the alter for God to make me skinny. i have not yet been skinny. i just keep getting bigger and bigger. i want to change. 20 years of this body. i want to change it. the media is not helping either. all i see on tv are skinny girls who get all the guys. i see guys all around me go for the girls who can fit in a size 3. i am tired of being that girl who guys just walk past...or just have a nice conversation with. i am tired of going to stores and finding cute clothes that i like and not having them in my size. i see size 0-5 much more damage can people who design clothes and those on tv do to me...a lot...

i am sick of being fat.

i want to be skinny.

i want to be healthy.

i want to be normal.

i want to change this year.

i want to change NOW!

all i ask is for help.

please send me some encouragement or maybe just pray for me to keep a good attitude and some motivation to lose weight.

i want to change.

i need to change.

will you help me?

please send e-mails to